grieving for the world

I just have a great urge to put this out. On a Holy Thursday. When Jesus cried in Gethsemane, asking the Father to take this cup from Him, yet still surrendering to His will.

I am also in deep sorrow. The moment I woke up this morning, I felt a great need to cry. Not because of my own struggles, but because of others. I feel a deep sadness for all the people who don’t really know Jesus.

Not just knowing His name, but truly knowing Him. Encountering Him. Following Him.

I cried out to the Lord today, asking why He has revealed this to me, and only to a few. Why is it that I can so clearly see His lovingkindness... while so many remain distant from Him? I thought about the brokenness in this world. People who are searching, hurting, longing, and yet still don't go to Him.

And my heart broke even more.

Because if I could give even a small portion of the faith I have—just enough for them to see who Jesus truly is, I would give it without hesitation. But I can’t.

And that is what grieves me.

I want to share the gospel with them. But sometimes, I struggle. It feels awkward. I feel out of place and different. And I wonder why something so life-giving can feel so hard to express.

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In my devotion this morning, I was led to Genesis 3:1–15.

The moment the serpent tempted Eve. Eve knew God’s instruction: “You must not eat from the tree… or you will die.” And yet the serpent said, “You will not certainly die.” It sounded convincing. It sounded almost true. And in a way, it seemed true. They did not die immediately. Not physically. But something far more serious happened. They were separated from God.

And I realized…these are same lies we are still hearing today.

In this fallen world, we are constantly fed with words that sound like truth, especially words we want to hear but are not aligned with God’s instructions.

The enemy does not always lie outright. Sometimes, he distorts the truth just enough for us to believe it. And like Eve… like Adam… we are easily swayed. Not because we do not know— but because we struggle to trust. We follow what feels good. What sounds right. What seems acceptable. But what feels right is not always right in the eyes of the Lord. God set His commands not to restrict us but to protect us. And yet, we still go our own way. And still, God does not force us to love Him.

That is what makes this so heavy because love must be chosen. Obedience must come from the heart.

I know I am far from perfect. I still make mistakes every day. I still sin in my thoughts, words, and actions. I still judge from time to time. I still make decisions that are not aligned with His will. But even then something in me corrects me, rebukes me, and draws me back. Still struggling, but not feeling defeated. And I know this is not from me. This is only by His grace. 

And this truth humbles me: Salvation is personal.

A relationship with Jesus cannot be passed on. It cannot be transferred. It is a decision. And that is why I grieve. Because I cannot save my family and my friends with my own strength and faith. I cannot give them my faith. They have to have it personally.

Only Jesus can save.

And yet, my heart still longs for them. Not just to know His name— but to truly know Him. To encounter Him. To follow Him as Lord.

But today, in the middle of my grief,

Jesus gently reminds me: I am not the Savior. He is. So even in my sorrow, there is peace. Because I am grieving a world that He has already overcome.

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My dear reader,

I pray that you would allow Jesus into your heart.

What He offers is something so beautiful, something so real, that I cannot fully express it in words. You have to experience it.

God is not distant from you. You may feel far from Him. You may not fully understand Him. You may even be unsure if He is real. But He sees you. He knows you. And He loves you.

From the beginning, sin separated us from God. But God, in His love, made a way. Jesus Christ came not just to teach, but to save. He experienced what it's like to live in this fallen world. And He took upon Himself the weight of our sin. He died on the cross, with us in His mind, knowing that it is the only way to save us from being totally separated from Him. But He rose again proving that sin and death do not have the final word.

To be under the weight of our worries and troubles in this world, it is natural in this fallen world-- but we don't have to carry it on our own. Jesus has already overcome the world, you just have to believe in this truth and surrender your life to Him.

Praying also Lord that You increase my capacity to love so that they may also know the love You have also given and shown me. Give me courage to share You. Thank you, Jesus.